Three Akashis
by pinkcorpse
Summary: "I think I broke Akashi-kun." "…what?"


**warnings**: crack, bad treatment of characters

* * *

Midorima Shintarou was a man who could deal with many things. Having spent his entire middle school years with a group of eccentric, weird people and now having to endure the presence of an overly bubbly and energetic person, who also happened to be in most of his classes, even in his club and who most certainly never heard of etiquette, he was confident that he was capable of dealing with any situation, any person, virtually _anything_ being thrown at him.

He wasn't.

* * *

His phone rang three times before he took the call, annoyed that someone would call him this early. It better be something important.

"Midorima-kun?"

"Kuroko?! Why are you calling, it's 6 am in the morning!"

"I think I broke Akashi-kun."

"…what?"

* * *

After some cryptic comments and unhelpful answers (it was Kuroko he was talking with after all) and some suspicious background noises, Midorima found himself in front of Akashi's apartment. He was fairly surprised to see Aomine, Kise and even Murasakibara there as well.

"I wonder what Kurokocchi has to tell us…"

Kuroko opened the door. To anyone who was not close to him, he may have looked like usual, deadpan face and all, but the four noticed that he was slightly frowning which meant he was fairly distressed. He let them in without a word.

"So what's this emergency you were talking about?"

"I think I broke Akashi-kun."

"What kind of explana-"

As if on cue, said redhead entered the room. Everyone was quiet as they stared at him. He turned and looked right at them –

with a red and light-blue eye. He smiled warmly.

"Good morning, Dai-chan, Ryou-chan, At-chan and Shin-chan. I am happy to see you. Would you like some breakfast?"

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as everyone was at a loss for words. Midorima was the first one who found his voice again.

"…explain, Kuroko. In detail, from the beginning and don't leave anything out."

"Alright."

* * *

_"Akashi-kun, I like you. Please go out with me."_

_His crush looked at him. Cherry blossom petals scattered around them as that moment seemed to go on forever. Then he opened his mouth and-_

* * *

"Hold on! I don't want to hear about your love life, just tell us what happened that he turned out _this_ way."

"Aominecchi… don't you want to know how they got together?"

"I hear enough about this sort of thing from Satsuki already, I don't care and I am_not_ interested in my friends' love life, especially not Tetsu's and Akashi's!"

"I don't really care about how Aka-chin and Kuro-chin got together either…"

"Alright. Then I will try to make it as short as possible."

* * *

_It was a cold evening when Akashi invited Kuroko over. After spending their time together comfortably (i.e. sitting next to each other on the couch and proceeding to ignore the other for the rest of the evening), Kuroko was about to leave, but the other insisted on him staying over the night. The weather did worsen, so he reluctantly agreed. When he woke up the next day, he found himself naked in Akashi's bed. Sitting straight up, he tried to remember the events of the night before, vaguely recalling drinks he was not sure they were allowed to drink yet. Someone was lying next to him. He looked as a familiar redhead moved closer to him and opened his eyes, his beautiful crimson and light-blue eyes._

_Light-blue?_

_"A-Akashi-kun?"_

_"Good morning. You're up early."_

_"Akashi-kun, is that you? I mean, are you…"_

_"Of course I am Akashi Seijuurou, Tecchan." He paused._

_"Tecchan took my innocence so now you have to take responsibility for it."_

* * *

"…"

"You had sex with _Akashi_? _And_ topped? Really, Tetsu?"

"That's the only thing you got?!"

"What do we do now? Seriously, this Akashicchi… is even creepier than the other!"

"Ryou-chan."

Everyone turned to Akashi who was holding a mug. Kise's face paled, dreading what was about to come.

"Please take this and take your time drinking it. Early mornings can be stressful, and I know how tight your schedule can be. It will help you relax."

"T-Thanks… A-Akashicchi…" The blonde took the mug cautiously, distressed expression never leaving his face. The redhead smiled (Kise hoped, really hoped he did not beam just now, that was going to give him horrible nightmares) before leaving for the kitchen again.

"He's so… gentle.. it's… its creeping me out!"

"That's a rude thing to say, Kise-kun. If you forgot, during middle school, he was very kind to us."

"What do we do now? Don't tell me it's permanent!"

"Hey… do you think this Aka-chin can get angry?"

"…what?"

Everyone stared at the tall center.

"I was just saying", he ate his snacks, oblivious to their silent judging stares, "do you think this Aka-chin can get mad?"

"What are you saying of-" they were going to deny it, but they paused.

This third Akashi seemed even nicer than the original and he gave off that…_special_ aura (they would compare it to that of an innocent girl, but the person they were talking about was neither of the two). They had to admit though, that delicate smile looked even scarier on his face than the homicidal ones. But maybe that was because they were used to his… extreme character. Maybe an outsider would see nothing wrong with him.

"He may be right…"

"How would you find that out? How would you even try to make him mad?"

"Yeah, Kagami isn't even here…"

"Aomine-kun, please do not think about sacrificing Kagami-kun to test out your theories."

"Well, we could-" Light footsteps could be heard, and they all immediately stopped talking about potential ways to make the redhead angry. Murasakibara, though, saw an opportunity. He lazily pushed Aomine towards Kuroko.

Just as Akashi entered, plate and eating utensils in his hands, Kuroko was in a compromising position with his former partner. Time seemed to have come to a halt as none made any attempt to move, all eyes trained on their former captain, whose warm smile looked kind of frozen and forced. In an instant, the knife he was holding vanished, and if it wasn't for the reflexes he had, the ace would be a head shorter now as said object flew past him, dangerously close to his head. Staring at the knife which had almost become a murder weapon, they returned their attention to the culprit and found themselves staring into red and green eyes.

"_What are you doing to my Tetsuyan?_"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, at least he isn't that creepy-gentle anymore."


End file.
